I've got this feeling time is holding me dowwwwwn!

Footloose is going well!
I was so nervous before I started tonight, but it turned out great, I got a nice buzz:D
I love the banter back stage aswell;)
Bring on Thursday and Friday, and not to mention my birthday! woo!
the big one seven, and then Saturday my Harry potter party!
Im so happy lately:D Even though I have a stack of coursework, and feel abit insecure about myself at times, I'm generally feeling good! School a blast these days aswell which seems weird to say!

This is a song about looooooooooooooooooooove

You know what?

Shut the fuck up yeah? As much as I love you and that, you piss me off

Money Worries

Right, I'm just gonna put this out there, it will make me feel better.

I've discovered that, having a boyfriend is over rated. Things get messy. My whole high school life was devoted to trying to please someone else, and what came of it? I got my feelings hurt more times than I can count. I became a paranoid loon. I was constantly trying to protect myself and make myself better for someone (even though I didnt know it at the time, since I was too busy smitten), I got further away from my friends, I didn't do nearly as well as I could of done on my GCSEs, and I got blamed for ruining someones life at 16 years old. I felt insecure enough in high school and I didn't realise that this boyfriend-having situation was making me feel more insecure than an average teenager should feel. No one should feel like that. Everytime I think back on the last 3 years I find it hard to think of anything good about my relationship. Its terrible but its true. I was a teenager having an adult relationship. The intenseness of it. We were even debating marriage, in high school!

Although it did give me some perspective, some expirience, and the instant instinct to never go for someone contolling in future relationships. Someone who will love me for who I am, and someone who won't judge me or force me to devote myself to their own life ambitions whilst ignoring my own.

Since that chapter of my life ended. I look at this new chapter of my life and think 'this is great' I have a fantastic and amazing group of friends, the loveliest most loyal and supportive best friend, a steady jist on the horror that is A-levels, a dream expirience coming up this summer, and a chance to live my life like a teenager, not an adult.

There
Now this blog is pointless to everyone but me, but I had to get that off of my chest. Now I can leave it.

I learnt how to use a washing machine and dryer today:) achievement!

So, yeah. My Harry Potter party is soon. AND WHAT?!


:D:D

Beggin' youuuu, put your loving hand out baby

Its going fairly well at the moment:)
I mean, I'm happy with how things are happening with school, friends and stuff. Obviously, i'd love to see the college girls more, thats the only thing.
I think its going to be a great year! Lots to look forward to!

- Birthdays next! (and Footloose, strangely)
- Harry Potter party
- Jersey Boys
- exams being done
- Festival
- New York
- Summer (the whole two weeks of it)
- Bestival!


nahhhhhh!!:D

I've been living to see you

Dying to see you but it shouldn't be like this. This was unexpected, what do I do now?
Could we start again please?
I've been very hopeful so far. Now for the first time I think we're going wrong. Hurry up and tell me this is just a dream? Or could we start again please?
I think you've made your point now. You've even gone abit too far to get your message home. Before it gets too frightening, we ought to call a halt. Could we start again please?

Could we start again please?

Oh what a night. Late December back in '63

Right. I think I may have let go abit last night. It was quite a one to remember!
I know I must of completely made an absolute fool out of myself!
It was fun times! but oh god. Odd stuff happened.
Mostly at the end of the night as well. All at once. Behind a shed mostly.
Aha! it was crazy times

I have not thought at all about my own reward. I really didn't come here on my own accord!

Ahhhhh:D
I cannae believe it!
Studying drama in one of the most famous cities in the world!
I never thought I'd actually get a chance!
I just can't wait!:D

Settle Down, You're Scaring Me

I've spent the majority of the last two days in my jim jams.
Christmas holiday, nothing much has really been going on
The Sloop was hilarious. Sitting between Meg and Henry just killed me, I almost choked multiple times!
Got back home from there and had a few drinks with Ellen and her pals, woke up the next day at about 10. Thats the earliest I've got up so far. Simply because I didnt feel very good.
Went to Jodies that night, ended up just chilling which was nice.
That's proberly the last thing I did. That was Saturday
It's now Tuesday evening.
I've done shit all. Apart from doing Biology revision and watching 'an idiot abroad'
I'm so bored now!
I've still got a shameful full bottle of gin that I haven't had. Maybe I should just get drunk right now.
nahhhhhhhhh



Well, going to Ellies tomorrow should be good at least:) it will get me out of the house! It will be nice to see everyone
I felt like I havent seen anyone in ages!

Peace!

'Its like a game of Jenga thats got out of hand' - Karl Pilkington on the Pyramids

This kiss, this kiss

You ever put your arms out and spin really, really fast? Well, that's what love is like. It makes your heart race. It turns the world upside down. But if you're not careful, if you don't keep your eyes on something still, you can lose your balance. You can't see what's happening to the people around you. You can't see that you're about to fall.

Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Snow-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Snow is fun times! kind of
It gets super cold after a while!
Yesterday was nice:) A snow day of course. Did the traditional 'Go to Ryde golf course on a snow day' then went to Dos Amigos with Ellie, Bambi and Andy
An odd crew to say the least!

Today was the day the snow turned to lethal ice. I really, really hate it. Its so mortifying! I slipped a few times whilst going to the chemist with Ellz, then got a hot chocolate from Bagal Wrap and trekked it up to Bambis.
It was nice chilling and catching up with Bambi and Turtle:) Watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with pizza and tea snuggled under a duvet!
I kind of want to live at his house, with his cat Dennis. Its just such a sweet house!
And his dad really does look like John Lennon.
Nice day overall:) very chilled out
Now I'm going to get a cup of tea, and continue with 'Helmet for my pillow'
I feel content:)


Peace!

'I feel handsome I feel smart! I'm a sexy work of art!'

There's something wild about you child that's so contagious. Let's be outrageous, let's misbehave!!

Ben Barnes<3

'Cause Boys Don't Cry

I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I try and laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes
Because boys don't cry
Boyyyyyyys dooooon't cryyyyyy

The Cure at Bestival! YUSS
Already beat the festival by far!

I've been so so so so tired lately. I even took a nap in one of the booths in the 6th form center today, and in history.
I need to start going to bed earlier!

Yeah so, I havent really got much else to say aha!
I hope it snows!

.

'If a man must live in mud and go hungry and risk his flesh you must give him a reason for it, you must give him a cause. A conclusion is not a cause'

Oh I could drink a case of you

YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

and I'll stillllll be on my feeeeeet, I will stiiiilll be on myyyy feeeet.

I am a lonely painter. I live in a box of paints!
:)

Night!

Maybe I think you're cute and funny, maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you if you know what I mean

Way up there, you and I, you and I.

An actual productive weekend!
Made a biology mind map didn't I?
Its crazy!

I'm looking forward to actually performing footloose. The rehearals are just shite though really. Then again, theres a few good laughs thrown in:) as always!

I am kind of happy now. Although, I've noticed that,
When I talk about a certain someone, I sound very remorseful and very mean and very very angry. I don't think I even mean to. It just comes out like word vomit.
I mean, I do think the things I say, mainly because of what has happened. I'm an angry person on that subject.
I'm not sure if thats bad or not!
Its just how I feel. I didn't feel as angry towards you at the start, but you crossed the bloody line, and pushed me over the edge.

Do I feel bad for being angry?
Yes! thats the worst part!
Like I should say sorry!


Anyhoo, I'll get a cup of tea then sit in bed and read, Like an old woman.
I better wake up and find snow covering every inch of West Street.
and before I go,

Those eyes! So haunting!
My kind of man

I can fix that

I bloody love 'Holes'

Under my skin, i'm just like you

It's always the most inappropriate time I get sick in the most awful way.
For the last two days, I've felt like I've been eating sand, accompanied by a splitting headache and general disorientation.
I think I'm feeling abit sorry for myself at the moment. Its not good. I've resulted to finding all of the most cheesy, soppy love songs I can possibly find and listening to them without shame. I don't even cringe when I put them on. I enjoy it.
I'm such a sad act.
I am definatly not myself at the moment. Otherwise I wouldn't be doing stupid things that I have stupidly been doing over the past week or so. maybe longer.
I mean, why don't I think? Why do I not think about what I'm doing?
I keep loosing my patience aswell. Quite badly
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Another great notion. I've started watching 'The Walking Dead' even though I am shit scared of zombies. It's a fantastic series, and I quite fancy the man in it, who is actually from 'Love Actually'

N'awwww
Still, since I've started watching it, I've had two zombie nightmares.
I really do hate zombies.
They are my worst fear in the whole world
I'm too addicted to it now though!

Anyway, in the poor decision making state I am in at the moment, I managed to make the right decision of watching Back To The Future II and III today. It cheered me up alot.
I reckon they are my favorite movies of all time. Just so good!


Peace

Hogwarts Hogwarts Hoggy Warty Hogwarts Teach Us Something Pleeeease

Ahhhhhh;D

I'm just a sweet transvestite

Today's been too long.
Ive got so much work.
And I've just agreed to taking on the lead in Footloose now that Christie has quit, I'm thrilled, however it's going to be so much more to handle with everything else going on.
Shit sticks.
Chilling in my new spiderman Pjs. Snuggly!
I'm craving to watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show after talking about it in biology today
I literely blog nothing of interest!

I mentioned I was moving, and you said you'd help me move

I'm gonna start reading actual books again. gives me abit of distance from AS biology books and travel guides and books about the Russian Revolution.
I'm starting to get pretty sick of it.

I'll read another memoir. I loved 'With The Old Breed' so much. So intersting and emotional.
Thats what I need, interesting and emotional!
I also need interesting things to be happening right now. I need a party! I want to have fun and get nice and drunk.
..

I hope it rains tomorrow and the Island floods again, so I don't have to get out of bed.

'And iiiiii've got a crush on you'